


Forget? Never

by marjmadrigal



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Death, M/M, Sad, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-10
Updated: 2014-05-10
Packaged: 2018-01-24 05:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1592522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marjmadrigal/pseuds/marjmadrigal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>They lied to me, all of them did. I couldn’t bear to think back to the moment when I found it all out. It was just full of pain, horror and fear...I couldn’t. </i>
</p><p>It isn't fair, he's supposed to be here...beside me. Why didn't I go? Why was I so stupid? Where is he? What's happening to me? What's his name again? I seem to have forgotten. </p><p>
  <i>"Never forget," his voice echoed in my head repeatedly.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forget? Never

Bullshit; so many people are full of it. False and useless shit coming from their mouths - rumors, gossips, lies. They dragged me away from the truth, thinking that it would be better for me, but it wasn’t. It made me delusional, making me think about stuff that wasn’t really there like hope.  
  


They lied to me, all of them did. I couldn’t bear to think back to the moment when I found it all out. It was just full of pain, horror and fear...I couldn’t.

 

I dreamt of the same thing that I’ve been dreaming ever since I was told about the news. Lights were around the place and no, not those yellow chandeliers that looked beautiful during a peaceful Sunday evening. The lights were pale white, dead and dull because that was where I was in the dream. I was in the waiting room of the local hospital, red eyes and tears running down my cheeks as I waited for him to come out of the recovery room. I woke up instantly, just like any other night. The dream would only last until there because I dread for what might happen afterwards.

 

It’s been 3 months since I last heard his name or anything about him and I won’t go through any of the mind boggling things I would usually say. I was in love with a curly haired lad named Harry. We haven’t been together for a long time, well, I was even unsure if we were even in a relationship since everything was confusing for us at that moment even until now.   
  


_I called his cell 6 times today, 4 yesterday and he wasn’t picking up. I called up his mom and she only picked up one time and that was when I was calling from a payphone. When she heard my voice, she immediately told me that she was busy. I went to their house a few days later and saw her curtains open slightly, as if someone peeked out to see who it was, but nobody opened the door._   
  


_I went to the pub me and Harry used to go to all the time, he would usually shout so loud whenever he would see his favorite football team score, but today was silent since he wasn’t there. The bartender gave me my usual light drink since it was a weeknight, rum and coke. He asked me where my friend was and I didn’t know what to answer because he just seemed to have disappeared all of a sudden._   
  


_The other bartender, Jenny, if I could remember correctly since she’s been introducing herself to Harry for so many times now thinking that he forgot her name, was carrying a newspaper to her usual spot, but was carrying a worried expression on her face._

 

_She looked around, but stopped when she saw me. She started walking towards my direction and I knew that she was going to ask where Harry was…_   
  


_“I read about your friend…” she said._

 

_...or maybe not. What about my friend? What happened? And it seemed pretty obvious to her that I was completely clueless so she just silently placed her paper on the table and gave me some space to read the small headline on the entertainment part of the newspaper._

  
  


**‘Rising solo artist in a coma’**

  
  


  
  


‘Harry Styles, 19, was reported to be in a coma a few hours after his car accident last Tuesday, June 18.'

_I stopped reading from there even if the end of the article was paragraphs away. It wasn't going to get better than that so what was the use. No wonder he wasn't picking up for the last 2 days. Shit, where is he? I called Anne's cell but she still wasn't picking up. I rushed to her house and continuously banged on the door like a mad man._

 

_"I'm coming, I'm coming!" She shouted, but I still continued to slam my body against the hard wood in front of me._

 

_"Where is he, Anne?" I demanded, speaking behind the door._

 

_"He's not here at the moment, Louis," she replied as she slightly opened her door, only revealing half of her face._

 

_“I know he’s not here, tell me where he is,” I said._

 

_“He doesn’t want to see you!”_

 

_“He can’t see me because he’s in a god damn coma!”_

 

_And there was silence between us. She opened the door and looked me in the eye and I couldn’t feel anything, but sadness and pity because standing before me was a wreck living in a house that was recently struck by lightning. Anne's arms were filled with cuts and bruises, her cheeks were flat and colorless, her skin was dead and dull. The living room was filled with Harry's old clothes and pictures, some stray strips of tissue along with the mess on the floor._

 

_She tried to clean up as I walked around, trying to suck in everything that has happened to Harry and to his mum._

 

_"Sorry," she mumbled, "I would've cleaned up if I knew you were coming."_

 

_"I've been calling for the past few days and I even waited out on your porch a few times, you should've expected me sooner, didn't you?"_   
  


_She avoided the topic and started telling me about what happened to Harry although, I was unable to understand anything since everything she said was consisted mostly of sobbing and asking the world why it had to happen to him. The only thing I was sure of was that Harry was in a coma because of a car accident and was in the local hospital._   
  


I didn't visit Harry even if I knew where he was. I haven't visited him for three months. I knew nothing about him now, I seem to have forgotten everything. I couldn't remember his smile, his laugh, the feeling of his touch, of his body against mine, it was all erased. I didn't visit not because I didn't care, but because it was better for me not to. It was better for the both of us.

 

_"What would you do if I died, Louis?" Harry asked me as I fed him grapes from the picnic basket._   
  


_"I don't know," I answered and really, I didn't._

 

_"Well, if you'd die, I wouldn't go to your funeral or your grave or your deathbed. I'd go to our pub and watch the game and shout if our favorite team scored and pretend you were there so that it wouldn't hurt so much."_   
  


_"Oh, I'm going to be alright, Haz. I'm strong and healthy, it's you I'm worried about, with all your junk food and everything," I replied._

 

_"Hmm, yeah, but don't worry. I'll take care of myself just for you."_   
  


_Don't worry._   
  


I wasn't aware about anything at all. All I knew was that one day, I heard something on the radio saying that a woman was found hanging from the ceiling because of a son who died and on the same week, everyone was saying their sorries to me and tried to help me, but I didn't know why. It was the talk of the town, but I wasn't able to get any juicy details. People avoided me after that, or maybe I pushed them away, I can't recall. I only felt and noticed it when I was completely alone and doing nothing. It was a lonely place, I wouldn't want to go back there.

 

So today, I went to the pub me and my friend always went to. We never talk anymore though, but he was always there. He was the noisy one who screamed during the games, but whenever I'd try to shake his hand to congratulate him for the team's success, he would just disappear. So I decided to just watch him from a distance, sitting on the same seat every day, ordering the same beer everyday and cheering for the same teams I used to cheer for everyday.

 

I wanted to know him, to be his friend, but I guess I couldn't for whatever deranged reason there Was. Maybe he was one of the people who avoided me.   
  


I went home when my friend also disappeared and that lonely feeling surfaced again and so I took a seat on the piano stool and pressed random notes on the keyboard. I seemed to have remembered a tune because I was playing a very good song, but that was only in my opinion. I think it was a real song since there was a little voice in my head, singing to it.  
  


_They don't know about the things we do_

_They don't know about the 'I love you's_

_But I bet you if they only knew_   
  


And then the voice stopped because I have forgotten the rest so quickly. My fingers froze on the piano because I didn't know what was next. I started playing random notes again, hoping to find the next tune to the song because it sounded rather beautiful. I felt my hand heat up as if someone was holding it and I looked to my side and saw my friend right there, smiling down at me, holding me. He pushed down my fingers to the right notes and continued the song.  
  


_They would just be jealous of us_

 

And it all came back to me.

 

" _They don't know about the up all nights, they don't know I've waited all my life just to find a love that feels this right. Baby, they don't know about, they don't know about us_ ," I sang while my friend sang along with me, but I couldn't hear his voice probably because mine was too loud.

 

I took a long look at the person beside me and I lifted his hand in the air, but just like before, it disappeared. I frowned and thought that things would've changed, but then he came back and he was there again, playing the piano beside me.   
  


"What's your name?" I asked him.

 

He looked at me and gave me a pitiful smile and then it struck me like lightning.   
  


 _'Harry'_ , I mouthed and all the delayed pain and emotion sank in and I was crying in front of the illusion my mind was seeing.   
  


"Harry," I whispered, stroking what I thought was his cheek, and sobbed more knowing that I was stupid to have left the thought of him on the side of the road. I shouldn't have went away from the pain because this was far worse.   
  


"Never forget," his voice echoing in my head repeatedly.

 

And I won't. I never will.

  
  


**_Harry Edward Styles_ **

**_February 1, 1994 - June 22, 2013_ **

**_A great son, a great friend_ **

**_You will forever be in our hearts_ **

 

_Especially in mine, Haz, especially in mine._


End file.
